THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE GIFT



Why do we make presents? To (have) pleasure, strengthen bonds or obey a social convention? Maybe a little bit of all that. But the good news is that when one immerses oneself in the psychological mechanisms of the gift, one discovers that it is quite easy to please the person to whom one is offering it.
At the origins of the gift, a social convention
In 1925, sociologist and ethnologist Marcel Mauss investigated in New Zealand among Maori and in Canada among Kwakiutl Indians and pulled Donation Essay. His conclusion? The gift is summed up in three words and as many actions: exchange-voluntary-compulsory. "To make a gift, by tradition as well as by will (first action) induces two other actions: accept the gift (second action) and make the gift (third action). Behind an innocent, selfless and generous act lies a psychological mode of functioning, but above all a complex community. "Certainly, making a gift is a way of saying that we love or respect the person to whom we are doing it. But it is also given (and especially?) Because it is a social act firmly anchored in the end-of-year celebrations, birthdays, housewarming, religious holidays, etc. And maybe a little bit because we're waiting for a gift back ...
Offer what we like
This does not mean that the gift can not be a generous act. But he can reveal more about the one who offers than the one who receives. Psychiatrist and researcher Samuel Lepastier declares at the micro RTL that "offer is never a trivial gesture." According to him, the motivation is not always the same from one individual to another. And the way a person makes a gift, it is possible to guess who she is. Canadian psychology researchers Lauren Human and Lara Aknin conducted 6 experiments with 528 people , which they concluded "offering a gift that we like personally allows us to get closer to each other, because it appears as a real unveiling of oneself or a way of giving oneself to someone. This type of action can be very beneficial for relationships, making you closer to the person in question." Offering a book or album that we liked can therefore be more "useful", in terms of strengthening the bonds between the offerer and the receiver, than to look for an expensive or original gift at any price.




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