THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE GIFT
Why do we make
presents? To (have) pleasure, strengthen bonds or obey a social
convention? Maybe a little bit of all that. But the good news is that
when one immerses oneself in the psychological mechanisms of the gift, one
discovers that it is quite easy to please the person to whom one is offering
it.
At the origins of the gift, a social
convention
In 1925, sociologist
and ethnologist Marcel Mauss investigated in New Zealand among Maori and in
Canada among Kwakiutl Indians and pulled Donation Essay. His
conclusion? The gift is summed up in three words and as many actions:
exchange-voluntary-compulsory. "To make a gift, by tradition as well
as by will (first action) induces two other actions: accept the gift (second
action) and make the gift (third action). Behind an innocent, selfless and
generous act lies a psychological mode of functioning, but above all a complex
community. "Certainly, making a gift is a way of saying that we love or
respect the person to whom we are doing it. But it is also given (and
especially?) Because it is a social act firmly anchored in the end-of-year
celebrations, birthdays, housewarming, religious holidays, etc. And
maybe a little bit because we're waiting for a gift back ...
Offer what we like
This does not mean that
the gift can not be a generous act. But he can reveal more about the one
who offers than the one who receives. Psychiatrist and researcher Samuel
Lepastier declares at the micro RTL that "offer is never a trivial gesture."
According to him, the motivation is not always the same from one individual to
another. And the way a person makes a gift, it is possible to guess who
she is. Canadian psychology researchers Lauren Human and Lara Aknin conducted 6 experiments with 528 people , which they concluded
"offering a
gift that we like personally allows us to get closer to each other, because it
appears as a real unveiling of oneself or a way of giving oneself to someone.
This type of action can be very beneficial for relationships, making you closer
to the person in question." Offering a book or album that we liked can
therefore be more "useful", in terms of strengthening the bonds
between the offerer and the receiver, than to look for an expensive or original
gift at any price.

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